I often wonder, in a world so beautiful, why do evils exist? Why do bad things happen to the best people? It’s a question I don’t think I’ll ever have an answer to.
I guess the only thing I can think of is that in a world so complicated and tough, it’s easy to lose our way. Its easy to lose ourselves. I have seen this happen a couple of times. It’a a hard reality to accept, especially when you feel like you can’t help them no matter how hard you try.
In my life, I’ve seen addiction affect a few people so close to me. The first was my mother’s battle, which was during my entire childhood. And the other was my best friend a couple years ago. I can tell you from the bottom of my heart it is one of the worst situations to be in. To watch them destroy themselves. To become someone they aren’t, because of something they can’t control. I believe deep down that it’s a disease. I’ve seen it break down the very people I love. It’s absolutely devastating. Everything about it sucks. If you have ever had someone close to you go through this, I’m sure you can relate. You just wanna scream at the world and ask why. Why did the universe pick them? Why the ones you love?
I think one of the worst parts about addiction is that sometimes you feel like you can’t even help. You try and you try to talk to them, get them the help they need, offer them everything you can, and its almost like you’re fighting smoke. No matter what you do it won’t work. Unless they deep down want to change and get better, nothing will change. It’s frustrating. It’s depressing. It really takes a toll on you. You know addiction is so powerful when it feels like the world is falling down on your head and you’re not even the one who has the problem.
I don’t think there is a correct way to handle it. Every person and every situation is different. So for anyone reading this, please don’t ever beat yourself up on how you may have handled a similar time in your life. I want people who have been through it, or are currently going through it now to know that you are not alone!!
And you don’t have to go through it alone. I will soon be posting my experiences and how I personally dealt with them. If these next couple posts can help even one person, then It was worth sharing my stories.
And even if you only take one thing away from this, please know, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. This took me a very long time accept, and it’s tough to remember some days. But please never blame yourself.
If you have ever battled addiction, or know someone who has. You are strong, you are loved, and you CAN get through this!